Still, we fight against the unknown with our dominion over “is”. We attempt to organize the pieces of life into a pattern of predictability that we stitch into the fabric of our future in idle hope that it will create what we consider to be “stability”. Have we even given the word “stability” much thought to defining it?
Where does the unknown come into “stability”? Where is the mystery in stability? There is no stability, it is an illusion.
And to safeguard against the primal force to transform our latent ways, we pretend we can prevent the mysteries of life. We do everything in our power to know the next step and how to walk it.
I am starting a new practice-a fierce commitment to the unknown. I have built my life around questions and answering these questions. I want to know what is next and when to expect it. I want to know “Why emotions?”, “Why mind?”, and “Why any of this?”
I was thinking of this constant need to define these parameters of life on a recent trip to California. I was waiting for the lavatory and had an urge to ask the flight attendant, “How much time is left?” Instantly I was struck by the impulse I had to do this and also by the futility of this question. We will arrive when we arrive. We will arrive when we arrive and we are always arriving. We are constantly leaving and arriving simultaneously, that to put any kind of book-ends on this moment or any other is an illusion at best.
So this will be my practice- I did not ask the attendant the time remaining. Instead of arranging the furniture of my future, I will love to love, I will work to work, I will play to play. I will be the guardian of my thoughts and stop trying to understand so much and plan the future from those perceived understandings. I will force my mind through the birth canal of my heart. I will become the mystery incarnate.